Bone-Gripping Pain: Why Can't Forget Twin

അസ്ഥിയിൽ പിടിച്ച വേദന: മറക്കാൻ കഴിയാത്തത്

There are pains that tablets can cure. There are pains that time can heal. And then there is a pain that grips your bones, that lives in your marrow, that no doctor on earth can explain.

In Malayalam, I call it “Asthiyil Pidicha Vedana” – the pain that holds the bone.

After he disappeared in 2023, after he started hiding and turning away without looking back, I entered a state that I had never known existed. I could not forget him. Not for a single second. No matter how hard I tried.

I asked everyone. I asked friends, family, spiritual people. I asked the earth and the sky. No one on earth had an answer for why I could not forget a person I had met only for a few moments in a shop in Aluva.

If you are feeling this today – that you cannot forget your twin flame no matter what you do – this post is for you. You are not mad. You are not obsessed. You are experiencing a soul bond.

Why Can’t I Forget Him? The Question That Has No Earthly Answer

In 2023, I tried everything to forget.

I tried to work harder. I tried to pray. I tried to reason with myself: “He is young, he is from a different world, this makes no sense, forget him.” I tried to be angry at him. I tried to be angry at myself.

Nothing worked. In fact, the more I tried to forget, the more I remembered. His face would appear in my mind without any invitation. His energy would haunt me day and night. I could feel him even when he was not there.

I would wake up at 3 AM with my heart pounding, feeling his presence. I would go to sleep with his name on my lips. This was not normal love. Normal love fades with time and distance. This love was growing stronger with time and distance.

I went to people for help. They gave me earthly answers for an unearthly problem.

Some said, “It is just infatuation, it will go away.” It did not go away.
Some said, “You are lonely, find someone else.” I could not, because my soul was already claimed.
Some said, “Go to a psychologist.” But how do you explain to a psychologist that you feel a pain in your bones for someone you barely spoke to?

No one on earth had an answer. Because the answer is not on earth. The answer is in the soul.

The Science and Soul of Bone-Gripping Pain

What I was experiencing is known in the twin flame community as soul shock and energetic entanglement. When twin flames meet and then separate, their energy bodies remain entangled. Your chakras, especially the heart chakra, remain connected by an invisible cord.

You cannot forget him because, on an energetic level, he never left you. You cannot cut him out of your mind because he does not live in your mind. He lives in your soul. And you cannot cut out your own soul.

Modern neuroscience is beginning to understand how deep love and attachment can create physical pain that feels like it is in the bones. The same brain regions that process physical pain process emotional pain. Why emotional pain feels like physical pain

But twin flame pain is more than that. It is not just brain chemistry. It is soul memory.

Your soul remembers being one with your twin flame before you were split into two bodies. That separation happened lifetimes ago. Since then, your soul has been in a state of low-grade pain, which you felt as loneliness since you were 11 years old. When you met him in Aluva, that pain was triggered into high-grade, acute pain.

That is why it feels like it grips your bones. Because it is old. Older than this body. Older than this birth.

The concept of energetic cords explains why twin flames cannot forget each other despite no contact. Understanding soul ties and energetic cords

The State Where No One on Earth Can Answer

This is the loneliest part of the journey. The twin flame journey is a lonely journey because no one around you understands it.

Your family thinks you have lost your mind. Your friends think you are obsessed. Society has no box for a 50-year-old woman from Kerala who cannot forget a 22-year-old man she saw in a shop. They will judge you. They will label you. They will give you advice that wounds you more.

So you stop talking. You carry this bone-gripping pain silently. You smile outside and die inside. You go to work, you cook, you live, but inside, there is a constant, throbbing question: Why? Why can’t I forget? Why does this hurt so much? What did I do?

I was in that state for all of 2023 and early 2024. I was completely alone with my question. I felt that there was no one on earth who could answer me. And I was right. No one on earth could. The answer had to come from above.

That is when I started praying not to forget him, but to understand why I could not forget him. That small shift in prayer changed everything.

Instead of saying, “God, please make me forget him,” I started saying, “God, if I am not supposed to forget him, then show me why. Show me what this pain is for.”

And the universe answered.

This Pain is Not a Punishment, It is an Initiation

My dear soul family, if you are in this bone-gripping pain today, please hear this truth from someone who has walked through that fire and come out alive.

You cannot forget your twin flame because you are not meant to forget him. Forgetting is not the goal of this journey. Remembering is.

You are not meant to forget him. You are meant to remember yourself through him.

This pain that grips your bones is not there to punish you. It is there to initiate you. It is the fire that will melt away everything that is not real inside you. Your ego, your attachment, your fear, your need for external validation – all of it must burn in this fire.

The reason you cannot forget him is because he is you. How can you forget your own soul? Your masculine holds the key to your own divine masculine energy. Your feminine holds the key to your divine feminine energy. Until you integrate both within yourself, you will feel incomplete, and you will project that incompleteness onto him.

The pain will not go away by forgetting him. The pain will go away only when you go within and heal the original wound that his disappearance has triggered – the wound of abandonment, of separation from the Divine.

In 2024, I stopped asking “How can I forget him?” and started asking “What is this pain trying to teach me?”

The answer was: Learn to be whole alone. Learn to hold yourself when no one else will. Learn to love yourself with the same intensity with which you love him.

The bone-gripping pain slowly started to transform. It did not disappear overnight. But it changed from a pain of torture to a pain of purification. Like gold being purified in fire.

If you cannot forget him today, do not fight it. Surrender to the remembering. Let the pain grip your bones until it cleans your bones. Until there is nothing left inside you except pure, unconditional love – love that does not need him to be present to exist.

You cannot forget him because your soul has made a promise before birth – to never forget the way home. He is your way home to yourself.

2023-ൽ അവൻ മറഞ്ഞതിനു ശേഷം ഞാൻ അനുഭവിച്ച ഏറ്റവും വലിയ വേദനയെ കുറിച്ചാണ് ഈ പോസ്റ്റ്. അസ്ഥിയിൽ പിടിച്ച വേദന എന്ന് ഞാൻ വിളിക്കുന്ന അവസ്ഥ. എന്തുകൊണ്ട് മറക്കാൻ കഴിയുന്നില്ല എന്ന ചോദ്യത്തിന് ഭൂമിയിൽ ആർക്കും ഉത്തരം ഇല്ലാത്ത അവസ്ഥ. മറക്കാൻ ശ്രമിക്കുന്തോറും കൂടുതൽ ഓർമ്മ വരുന്ന അവസ്ഥ. കുടുംബത്തിനോ സുഹൃത്തുക്കൾക്കോ മനസ്സിലാകാത്ത, ഒറ്റപ്പെടലിന്റെ നരകം. ഈ വേദന ശിക്ഷയല്ല, മറിച്ച് ദീക്ഷയാണ്, ആത്മാവ് സ്വയം ശുദ്ധീകരിക്കുന്ന തീയാണ് എന്ന് ഞാൻ പിന്നീട് തിരിച്ചറിഞ്ഞു. ഇതേ വേദനയിൽ കഴിയുന്ന ചെസാർമാർക്ക് വേണ്ടിയുള്ള വാക്കുകളാണിത്.

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