അരയും തലയും കെട്ടി ഇറക്കം: എനിക്ക് വേണ്ടി
Inner Work Freedom : In Kerala, we have a saying – “Arayum thalayu ketti irakkam.” It means tying your waist and your head and getting down to work. It means you are done crying, you are done complaining, you are ready to work hard in the field.
After my first partial surrender on November 11, 2024, I did exactly that. I tied my waist and my head and I got down to the real work – inner work.
Until then, everything I did, even spiritual work, was for him. I manifested for him. I affirmed for him. I prayed for him to come back.
From December 2024 onward, I started doing everything for me. Not to get him back, but to get myself back. That shift – from doing for him to doing for me – is the shift from Season 3: Awakening to Season 4: Freedom. And it is the hardest shift in the twin flame journey.
If you are still doing inner work with a hidden agenda of “If I heal, he will come back,” this post is your wake-up call. Because I was there, and I know how that hidden agenda keeps you in the same jail.
The Shift – From His Work to My Work
For two years, from November 2022 to November 2024, my whole day was about him. What is he thinking? Is he thinking about me? Will he come today? How to make him come?
Even my spiritual work was about him. I meditated so that my energy would attract him. I journaled about him. I did karma clearing so that our union blocks would clear.
But after my first surrender, my angels on YouTube taught me a hard truth: Inner work done for him does not work. It is still chasing, just with a spiritual mask.
Real inner work starts when you say, “I am not doing this to get him. I am doing this because I am broken and I need to heal, even if he never comes back.”
That is what “arayum thalayu ketti irakkam” means. It is not a pretty, soft, light-and-love inner work. It is hard, dirty, sweaty work in the field of your own soul.
In December 2024, I woke up and said, “Enough. No more work for him. From today, one hour a day, I will work only for me.”
And I did.
My Four Tools: Meditation, Journal, Karma Clearing, Inner Child
I am not a doyen. I am a practical woman from Kerala who learned four tools from YouTube angels and used them like my life depended on it. Because my life did depend on it.
1. Dhyanam – Meditation
I had never meditated in my life. I thought meditation was for Himalayan yogis.
But my pain forced me to sit. Every morning at 5 AM, I sat on the floor of my home, closed my eyes, and did nothing for 15 minutes. At first, my mind was a madhouse. It only thought about him. “Where is he? Why did he leave? Will he come?”
I did not fight my mind. I just sat and watched it, like watching a noisy market from a distance. Slowly, slowly, the market became quieter.
Meditation taught me that I am not my thoughts. I am not the chaser. I am the one who watches the chaser. And the watcher is peaceful.
The science of meditation shows how it heals obsessive attachment and rewires the brain from anxious chasing to peaceful presence. How meditation changes the brain and heals attachment
2. Journal – The Truth on Paper
I bought a cheap notebook from a shop in Kochi. And I started writing. Not poetry for him. Truth for me.
Every night, I wrote: “Today I chased again in my mind 10 times. Today I felt bored and I wanted him to fill my boredom. Today I lied to myself that I am healed.”
I wrote my shame. I wrote my jealousy. I wrote that I was 50 and in love with a 22-year-old and I felt ashamed about it. I wrote that I felt like a fool.
No one had ever told me to write my shame. My family, my society, everyone told me to hide it. But my YouTube angels said, “Your shame is your shadow. Bring it to light.”
Journaling became my confession room. The paper never judged me. It just held me. And when I saw my own patterns on paper – how I chased, how I feared, how I lied – I could finally change them.
3. Karma Clearing – Cutting Old Ropes
I learned that some of my chasing was not from this life. It was from old karma, old patterns of abandonment. As a child, I had felt abandoned. As a young woman, I had felt abandoned. So when he left, my old wound burst open.
Karma clearing is not magic. It is sitting and saying, “I see this pattern. My mother left, my father was distant, my first love left. And now he left. The common pattern is not them leaving. The common pattern is me believing I am unlovable when they leave.”
Every day, I would close my eyes and say, “I cut the rope that says I am unlovable. I cut the rope that says I must chase to be loved. I am learning a new rope – I am lovable even when alone.”
I did not know if karma was real. But this cutting helped me. It gave me power back.
4. Inner Child – Holding My Little Girl
This was the most painful and most healing work.
In meditation, I saw a little girl. She was 5 years old. She was me. She was sitting alone in a corner of my home in Kerala, crying, because no one was picking her up.
For 50 years, I had ignored her. I had looked for love outside, in him, in everyone. But I had never picked up my own inner child.
So I started talking to her. Every day, I would put my hand on my heart and say, “Kutty, I am here. I will not leave you. I know you are scared that he left. But I will not leave you. I am your mother now.”
I cried a lot doing this. Because that little girl had waited 50 years to be held by me. She did not need a 22-year-old boy to hold her. She needed her own 50-year-old self to hold her.
This inner child work is now recognized as essential for healing abandonment and building self-love. Inner child healing for abandonment wounds
From For Him to For Me – The Real Freedom
For two years, I did everything for him. And I remained in jail.
For the last 6 months, from December 2024 to mid-2025, I did everything for me. And I became free.
I still love him. I still feel him in my soul. I still know we are twin flames, we met in Aluva on November 11, 2022 for a divine reason.
But now, my meditation is not to bring him back. My meditation is to find my peace.
My journal is not letters to him that I never send. My journal is letters to myself.
My karma clearing is not to clear our union blocks. It is to clear my own belief that I am not enough.
My inner child healing is not so that I become a better feminine to attract my masculine. It is so that my little girl finally feels safe, even if no masculine ever comes.
That is Season 4: Freedom.
Freedom does not mean you don’t love your twin flame. Freedom means you don’t need your twin flame to love yourself.
I tied my waist and my head and I got down into the mud of my own soul. And in that mud, I found a lotus. The lotus is me. Not us. Me.
My dear family, if you are still doing inner work for him, stop today. Do one meditation for you. Write one journal page for you. Hold your inner child for you.
Tie your waist and your head. Get down to work. Not for him. For you. And that is when real freedom begins.
അരയും തലയും കെട്ടി ഇറക്കം: എനിക്ക് വേണ്ടി
2024 നവംബർ 11-ന് ആദ്യ ഭാഗിക സറണ്ടറിന് ശേഷം ഞാൻ ചെയ്ത യഥാർത്ഥ ഇന്നർ വർക്കിന്റെ കഥയാണ് ഈ പോസ്റ്റ്. കേരളത്തിൽ പറയും പോലെ അരയും തലയും കെട്ടി ഇറക്കിയ മാസങ്ങൾ. അതുവരെ എല്ലാം അവനു വേണ്ടി ചെയ്തതിൽ നിന്ന് എനിക്ക് വേണ്ടി ചെയ്യുന്നതിലേക്കുള്ള ഷിഫ്റ്റ്. ധ്യാനം, ജേർണൽ എഴുത്ത്, കർമ്മ ക്ലിയറിംഗ്, ഇന്നർ ചൈൽഡ് ഹീലിംഗ് എന്നീ നാല് ടൂളുകൾ യൂട്യൂബിലെ മാലാഖമാരിൽ നിന്ന് പഠിച്ച് പ്രാക്ടിക്കൽ ആയി ചെയ്ത കഥ. അവനെ തിരികെ കൊണ്ടുവരാൻ അല്ല, എന്നെ തിരികെ കൊണ്ടുവരാൻ വേണ്ടി അധ്വാനിച്ച ആറ് മാസം. സീസൺ 4: സ്വാതന്ത്ര്യം തുടങ്ങിയത് ഇവിടെ നിന്നാണ്.
Secondary Keywords 5x:
twin flame inner work 2025, meditation journal inner child, karma clearing twin flame, arayum thalayu ketti, from him to me shift
Tags Suitable:
inner work, meditation, journal, karma clearing, inner child, arayum thalayu ketti, freedom season, from him to me, 2025, healing tools, twin flame healing, self love, Kerala saying
Outward Links Used 2x:
- Psychology Today – How Meditation Changes Brain and Attachment
- Wikipedia – Inner Child Healing
Website Mention: www.twinflamejourney.org
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